10 November 1991, Sunday.

Obviously, my conscience isn't laidened enough, that probably isn't even a word, but who cares. Problems, problems, Ahhhhhhh, its not good. I sit in my room, thinking about everything, and anything, home, girls, Indonesia and a pathetic dream that's slipping through my fingers, like the water falling all around me.
I went back to sleep until 1pm, when Yunis woke me up. We went for a walk around the market and then walked along the beach, met some people, chatted, then met Sandy, and treated myself to a massage with her tender hands, then we went and got a drink.
I met some Dutch people, and they weren't quite rude enough to me, I found that I was imeadiately disliking them. So we left there, and went to the Krakatu warung, and met a couple from Newcastle, very nice, and a German bloke, who was also very nice.
I'd been putting it off, but I couldn't wait any longer, we went to Asna's, so that I could say goodbye.
It was very hard, and painful, she cried and I could hardly speak. Yunis said that I was a real gentleman, he said there were no gentlemen in Indonesia, which I believed. We walked to Yunis's place, where I wrote a song about this time.

Blind Fool.
I had to say goodbye, to the love I'd never really known,
The night was warm, and as I looked into her eyes,
I recognised a tear that was all alone,
On the way back, I stared at the sky for something more,
And three stars shone bright, orions belt pointing the way out,
I knew then, whilst not understanding,
What life was all about,
Sweet Indonesian girl, hair like the night rain,
Didn't understand what I said, but her eyes said it all, and I walked away,
The stars cut up the sky, and her eyes embedded on my soul,
And from this life, I took flight.

After writing the song, I tried to explain to Yunis, just how I'd tried to explain to Asna, that men and women were equal. It was a bit of a slog. He found this very hard to believe.
He has turned out to be a very good friend, and I'm sad to be leaving Carita, annoying Hendra, beautiful Asna, and my good friend Yunis (even if he doesn't think men and women are equal), the guys with there guitar, Mr Amir, Sandy, Robin and his friend, Anass, everyone I've met.
I will move on tomorrow morning to Bogor and make new friends. I know now that I will return to Carita, and see everyone again, before I return to England, saying goodbye once just isn't enough.
I'm in bed now, its around 2am, and my eyes are closing.
Salamat malam(goodnight).


Blogger lryicsgrl said...

What an amazing journey.
You look so young in this picture! "Babyfaced English Boy", they must have thought!
Do you think you will use the song? I would love to hear it.
I wonder what happens when you go back to Carita??

2:06 pm  
Blogger Nabonidus said...

I love the picture of you and Asna next to each other, it so perfectly illustrates my point about you being sunshine to her clouds.
And it also explains without words why you really couldn't rescue Asna from that life. You were just a baby yourself!
I've been hesitating asking this one question because I don't want to get too personal, I suppose : Did you paint or
draw any pictures of Asna yourself?
Or was it one of those cases where you sit down and try to draw the person,
and get frustrated because you fail to capture the essence of them? Where you can't quite get it right? I've had these moments drawing ,myself. But I'm not the artist you are.
Seriously, Mikey, if you wanted to share them, I would love to see them, and others would too, I'm sure.
Thank you for posting the larger picture, I caught more in that one. Such as how her little, narrow shoulders make one feel that she is too petite, vulnerable and delicate to live there! I hope it's deceptive,
that she has a toughness inside.
I admit, to hear that Asna cried made me cry, I don't know what's wrong with me! I guess it's the artist in me,
I've been told this by a teacher, a long time ago.That I see things differently because I'm an artist.
And the fact that you had to leave her,that was tough to read.
And yet I wouldn't have missed any of this. I really love this Indonesian journal.
Thanks, Mikey. : )

3:03 pm  
Blogger Kevin Seegan said...

Wow, you look mighty young! Not that you look old now, of course.

11:48 pm  
Blogger Dale said...

Apparently you are OK...

5:03 am  
Blogger lryicsgrl said...

Great responses on your blog Mikey! I'm so happy for you. See, all things do happen for a reason! What you give to this world, you get out. (Barring any unforseen natural disasters get in the way of course.) Keep on keepin on.
PS just bought re-release Bangladesh DVD. I LOVE IT. So great how George is still helping the world posthumously (check spelling). Proceeds still going to help children in need. What a beautiful soul! The spirit still remains.

4:55 pm  

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